I have thought a lot about the present, my life, my relationship, my home, what I want, where I want to be and the things I would like to accomplish for myself.
Some things are possible, others are not, some things are pending, either outwardly or inwardly.
I still struggle with my emotions, my feelings towards the many aspects of my past, the heightened awareness of my present and the uncertainties of my predilections for tomorrow and the impending future.
They are still vast and at times confusing. Mostly I know well the feelings that are strongest, that sit at my side always reminding me of what I can't achieve, or have.

No one seems to want what I want; the one I rely on the most is conflicting with his own desires and my dependency overshadows my own desires, keeping them in my mind alone, since when they are voiced all I receive is negativity, disinterest, or an argumentative stylistic debate that I simply can not win.